


Watching Through My Fingers

by howlpendragon



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Depressed Kirk, Kidnapping, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining Kirk, Vulcan Mind Melds, forcefully oblivious spock, ill add tags as i go, mild alcohol abuse?, spock as damsel in distress (but not rly)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2018-11-17 13:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 10,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11276205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howlpendragon/pseuds/howlpendragon
Summary: Jim and Spock survive being kidnapped by aliens by melding, although neither realizes how much it will affect them.While recovering, they receive new assignments on separate starships. They each try to deal with it, until they manage find each other again.~~~bc mutual pining is My Shit... I thought this up in a daydream n figured I oughta write it down ¯\_(ツ)_/¯





	1. Chapter 1

     Jim had been able to endure the physical torture better. He’d been beat up before, at least. He was used to it, in a sick sort of way. Someone messing with his head, though, going in there and having their way with him, that was a whole new realm of shit. 

     He knew he had to escape, but he couldn't quite remember why. He kept feeling as though he'd almost got it, when they reached into his mind again and he was left drifting in agony. The room was dark but the colors flashing in front of his eyes would've kept him from really seeing anything anyway. Or maybe his eyes were closed. He couldn't control his body, couldn't do anything. Fragments of words slipped from his lips, nothing making sense. He wasn't even trying to communicate anything at that point. Images flashed before him, memories, probably; people yelling at him, the smell of cigarette smoke, pain. 

     He could barely think. The world was spinning. He didn't know who he was. 

     Oddly, it didn't seem to matter. 

     The presence in his head pulled back some, and he felt nauseous. The edge of his awareness registered hearing what he thought might have been a laugh… Was someone laughing at him? Then a yell. From… farther away? He tried to open his eyes, which he was pretty sure had fallen closed. It worked, sort of; he saw some blurry stuff, but he couldn't focus. He realized that was because he was moving. Someone was dragging him, somewhere. 

     Another yell, from closer, from the same voice. He recognized the voice? He pried his eyelids open, with more success than the first time, and tried to scan the room for the source. He was able to spot a flash of blue before his brain was scrambled again. 

     He may have screamed, or maybe someone else was screaming, or maybe it was all in his head. Something hit his back, stayed there. 

     His head was on fire. 

     He was floating. 

     His mouth felt fuzzy. 

     His foot hurt. 

     It was very bright. 

     At some point he realized that no one was in his head anymore. He still couldn't really think, couldn't do anything. It was like someone had taken a baseball bat to the inside of his head.

     He drifted. 

     It got hot. 

     His foot was throbbing. 

     He passed out, possibly for the second time. Or third or fourth, he really had no idea. 

     When he woke up, someone was in his head again. He braced himself for pain, despite not being able to do anything to stop it before.

_Jim?_ The word echoed through his head. That hadn't happened before.

_Wha… hu…who?_ He responded eloquently. 

_You will be alright, Jim._ The presence said, a hint of affection appearing in Jim's mind. Whoever it was felt alright in his head, he guessed. They weren't hurting Jim, so he figured it was fine, like they said. There also wasn't anything he could do about it if it wasn't fine. 

     He sort of drifted again, slowly remembering some things, which was nice, and slowly regaining awareness of his extremities, which was painful but probably good anyway. At some point, he realized he knew who was with him. 

_Spock?_ he thought.

_Yes, Jim? How are you feeling?_ Spock answered.

_Can’t you tell since you’re… in my head or whatever?_

_I wished to ascertain how lucid you were, as well as your awareness of our surroundings._

_Uhhhhh, y’know I’m… eh. I dunno… dude… What the fuck happened?_ Spock was quiet for a minute, and Jim realized that Spock was doing something to make Jim’s head make sense again. 

_We were captured by the inhabitants of this planet._

_I kinda figured that much, thanks._

_You recover your ability to employ sarcasm remarkably quickly, Jim._ Jim could feel Spock’s tinge of amusement with the thought. 

_What can I say, Spock… it’s one of my natural… talents…_ Jim could feel himself fading out of consciousness again, although he tried to fight it.

_It is alright, Jim, you can rest more._

_No, I… where are we now?_ Jim asked, registering motion around them. _Are we on… the Enterprise?_

_We are headed across the desert toward the alien settlement; as our communicators were taken from us we must return to a location where the Enterprise’s sensors would be searching for us, as I am assuming that we have been missing and unresponsive for long enough to warrant alarm._

_Oh… That… that’s great, Spock…. Thank you…_ he thought as he faded into unconsciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

     Spock was relieved to feel the tingling indicative of impending transport, and ceased his stumbling forward. Jim was still cradled in his arms, still melded with him despite Jim having been in and out of consciousness. Spock had been attempting to heal the damaged parts of Jim’s mind, the areas left tattered after the haphazard mental attack, while carrying Jim across the sand.

     He reeled as they appeared on the transporter pad in the Enterprise, suddenly aware of his own need for rest as he withdrew fully from Jim’s mind. McCoy was yelling and hauling them both to medical, but Spock paid little mind to the content of his rant. He slipped into a meditative trance immediately upon reaching the medbay, in order to facilitate his own recovery.

 

     Spock, like Jim, had been subjected to mental attack, however he was able to raise his shields to defend himself when humans could not. As a result, his mind was largely unharmed by the ordeal.

     He meditated for longer than normal anyway.

     Often, after mind melds, the emotions and thoughts of the other party would linger, especially if said party was human. Spock found himself clearing up the space where Jim had been, so to speak; it was still warm and glowing in a ghost of the connection. There was… lingering affection. It was odd. He dismissed it as a residual feeling from Jim, as he would have been very grateful to Spock for rescuing him. Humans often felt emotions more strongly after high-stress situations. Due to the extended length of the meld, as well as both of their injured states at the time, a stronger than average mixing of thoughts and emotions could have occurred. That was what he kept telling himself, every time he felt similar inexplicable Emotions from the spot where Jim had been.

     After his required 5 day medical leave, 2.37 days of which Spock thought were unnecessary, he returned to active duty.

     Kirk was in a stable mental condition; his ailments were almost entirely physical at that point. He had broken his ankle and fractured one of his ribs, and would require at least another week in medbay.

     Spock visited him fairly regularly, to ensure that he was suffering no further mental repercussions from the incident. If being around Jim helped Spock feel more normal after the ordeal, that was just a convenient side effect.

 

     2.6 days before he was scheduled to return, Jim burst onto the bridge in the middle of alpha shift, with McCoy right behind him.

     “Keptin on ze bridge!” Chekov chirped.

     “I was not aware that you were back on duty, Captain.” Spock said, raising an eyebrow at him.

     “He’s not!”

     “Don’t listen to Bones, I’m fine.”Jim put a hand on Spock’s shoulder, “It’s nice to see you too, Spock.”

     Spock did not believe Jim entirely, but the bridge did seem somehow off when the captain was not there, so he was not entirely inclined to make him leave. Letting Jim stay right away would anger the doctor, though. Spock rose from the captain’s chair, but remained standing directly in front of it.

     “We’re not staying!” McCoy said, glaring at Jim and enunciating slowly as though it would change Jim’s mind.

     “You have no good reason to keep me in medbay longer, all you’re doing is keeping tabs on how I'm feeling,”

     “Which I need to do for a few more days before-”

     “You can watch me here on the bridge!”

     “Well that'd be great if I Worked in here, but I don’t!”

     “C’mon Bones, it’s just a little bit…”

     Jim’s arguments were turning to whining, and if Spock was inclined to use metaphors he would say that McCoy’s eyes were getting closer and closer to popping out of his head. Spock tuned them out, turning to scan the rest of the bridge.

     “Commander, incoming transmission. Starfleet Command.” Uhura said. Jim and McCoy quieted down.

     “Put it on.” Spock said.

     Commander Pike’s face came into focus on the screen.

     “Hello, boys. Hope I’m not interrupting, but we’ve got a bit of a situation.”

     “A situation, sir?” Spock prompted.

     “It’s a bit complicated, but there’s been a bit of mutiny and some fighting… We normally wouldn’t interrupt your mission like this, but we’re down a rather significant number of senior officers. You need to return to Earth as soon as you can.” Pike explained.

     Spock glanced over at Jim, and their eyes met for a second before Jim turned to reply.

     “Yes, sir, we understand. See you soon.” Pike nodded in reply before he ended the transmission.

     “Sulu, Chekov, put in the coordinates and let us know our E.T.A. Bones, I’m staying on the bridge.” Jim said. McCoy resumed his pointed glaring. “Oh, give it a rest, in a few days we’ll be back on Earth, and you’ll probably be dealing with a bunch of injured people from whatever happened, and you’ll Wish I was your biggest problem!”

     McCoy grumbled, but didn’t say anything when Jim slid by Spock and into the captain’s chair. Spock stepped away after Jim sat down, as his legs were practically in between Spock’s at that point, and while Spock found that it did not upset him as much as it probably should, it was distracting.

     McCoy continued grumbling at Jim even as he left the bridge and the lift doors closed behind him. Spock, illogically, imagined the doctor grumbling all the way back to his office. He let no sign of it reach his face, but the resulting scene was rather entertaining.


	3. Chapter 3

     Jim hated meetings. The arguing and strategic politeness wasn’t so bad, it was just that they tended to last for so long with so little being done. He was glad when Spock was there to remember all the shit Jim accidentally tuned out in boredom.

     Pacing through the halls of HQ, Spock right on his heels, Jim once again ran through why Starfleet could’ve requested their presence at the meeting. After the conspiracy plot was discovered, and the minor violence stopped, there were a few ships that were without captains or other commanding officers. Spock had suggested that the remaining officers of the fleet would be a part of the selection process for replacements, or a few ships were being decommissioned, for the time being, due to lack of officers.

     As they settled around the table, waiting for a few more officers to arrive, Jim ran his hands through his hair, then messed around with his padd for a minute before catching a pointed glance from Spock. He set it down and switched to fiddling with the seam on his pants instead.

     Someone Jim didn’t recognize stood up and started the meeting by summarizing what had happened. He tuned them out. Everyone had already heard the spiel anyway, it was pointless to reiterate it again.

     He watched the clouds drift by outside the window until he swore he felt the atmosphere of the room change. Someone else had started talking.

     “… no easy way to put this, we have major reassignments affecting everyone here. Most first officers are being promoted to captain the other ships, and some of your senior crew will be moved…”

     … first officers… promoted to captain?

     Jim was frozen, eyes wide and mouth hanging half open. He glanced to his left to Spock, who looked incredibly tense. Spock’s eyes glanced over to meet Jim’s for a second, just long enough for Jim feel like Spock could see all the shock and distress that was probably scrawled across Jim’s face, before he looked back away.

     Technically, they said _most_ first officers, maybe Spock wouldn’t get assigned… but he was one of the more experienced, no way they would let him stay on the Enterprise with Jim. No way to know if he’d even want to.

     So Spock would leave. Probably. Jim would panic about that later. Who else would he be losing? Bones? Uhura? How much of his crew would he have left?? Was it temporary??

     Motion around him shook him out of his trance, everyone reaching for their padds. He copied, assuming they’d been sent a more detailed list of the changes.

     “Breathe, Captain,” Spock said quietly.

     Jim hadn’t even realized his breath had been coming shallow and quick. He sucked in a deeper, shaky breath, feeling some of the tension leave him as he glanced down to the screen in front of him.

     Kirk, still Captain on the Enterprise. Spock, Captain.

_So he is on a different ship._

     Transferred with him: Sulu, Uhura, and Dr. Marcus, along with a good chunk of the rest of the crew.

     At least he still had Bones…

     He kept rereading the first line.

     “S’chn T’gai Spock- Captain”

     Jim couldn’t process it. He didn’t want to. It didn't feel like it was really happening. Someone was talking again, but he couldn't focus on them.

     They were supposed to be together for five years, the whole crew…

     Spock gripped Jim’s upper arm and pulled him up. The meeting must've ended. Jim followed Spock out of the room, only vaguely aware of where they were going.

     Jim hadn't felt ready to be a captain before, his crew had helped him through everything, _Spock_ had helped him. Whenever Jim was being too impulsive he could rely on Spock, and Jim was proud of his ability to see through that Vulcan mask, most of the time at least.

     Jim got jostled in a crowd and lost sight of Spock. He stopped and looked around, blinking at the people around him. He hadn't really been paying attention to where they were. A few people yelled at him for being in the way.

     Spock’s hand reached out and grabbed his arm again, pulling him along. This time, Spock didn’t let go as they walked, his firm grip anchoring Jim, keeping his thoughts from wandering too far.

_Fuck, I’m so screwed. When did it get this bad?? Fuck! I’m gonna_ miss _Spock… wonder if Vulcans even miss people…_

     Jim was very thankful for the layer of cloth between Spock’s hand and his arm. No sense in having Spock hear all that and inevitably end up hating him, right before he leaves anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really feel like i have no idea what im doing but uh i guess im not doing terribly lol?


	4. Chapter 4

     Jim had panicked right away as they left the meeting. Spock waited until later, when he was safely back in his quarters. Not that he really panicked, not the way humans do, but he was significantly less functional than normal.

     He was mostly stunned at the sudden loss of all that which he had become accustomed to on the Enterprise; his job, and the crew who he regarded as his friends. It was not illogical to regret the loss of routine, he thought. Yet it was equally illogical to shy away from new opportunities, greater opportunities, all for the sake of routine.

     Deeming his meditation unsuccessful for the night, Spock stood and went to read over the new roster instead.

     Sulu had not been promoted with his transfer as Spock had assumed would be the case. He inquired as to the council’s reasoning, as there was no doubt Sulu was well qualified.

     Their response was slightly too vague for Spock’s taste; saying they did not want two crew members from the Enterprise to be in complete command, without actually saying it. Spock was unimpressed, and, despite their request that he “not spread information meant to arouse distrust where none should exist,” messaged Sulu about it.

     The returning message from Sulu a few minutes later read,

     -Oh, jeez

     Spock was still pondering the meaning of the message when his door chimed a minute later. Spock could think of no reason for a visit at the time, as Jim was the only one who ever visited him, and he was busy.

     Sulu was smirking at him when he ordered the door open.

     “I would’ve thought, of all people, you would listen when they say not to spread distrust over nothing,” he said.

     “I merely judged that, in this situation, a small amount of distrust would not be illogical.” Spock replied. Sulu laughed, and plopped down in a chair further into the room.

     “I assume it’s alright if I sit?” he asked, relaxing after Spock inclined his head in a nod. “So, they don't trust us, and they're keeping us from working too close together, huh?”

     “It would seem that way. Most likely it is simply in response to the recent conspirators, and not in any genuine mistrust against us specifically.” Spock replied.

     “I never liked it when everyone was punished for a just few people’s screw-ups… so the new first officer, know anything interesting about them?” Sulu asked.

     “Their academy records are impressive, they were teaching a few classes while pursuing further linguistic education after graduation.” Spock said, scanning his padd.

     “You said their name’s Casey, right?”

     “Yes, Casey Lee.”

     “Wonder how our ship will compare to the crew we’ve got here on the Enterprise…” Sulu laughed, although there was little humor behind it.

 

     The transfer between ships was hectic, and Spock was extremely busy for 1.4 months, ensuring that everything was running smoothly under his command. Although he required less sleep than humans, he found himself growing tired 37.4% faster than normal. He assumed it was due to his increased workload. He resolved to monitor it, but not alter his performance or routine.

     After four months, Spock was still experiencing symptoms of being mentally overextended, despite his workload returning to relative normal. He slept for longer than he had before, and spent most of his free time meditating.

     At first he had been reluctant to explore other causes for his exhaustion, but eventually his meditation led him to believe that it was possible he had been… emotionally affected by the transfer. He had never placed much value in camaraderie or friendship, but he was forced to accept that, as he interacted with his crew 62% less than he had with that of the Enterprise, it was a plausible theory. It was not something he would have predicted, nor something he wished to think about.

     He reasoned that, since it was only affecting him when he was off duty and alone, it was not a high priority. He ignored it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a bit longer, partially bc i had a migraine over the weekend, which was super fun o___o  
> i also realized i shld self promote so uhh i draw on tumblr @bootlegprotag ... will maybe eventally draw smth for this idk


	5. Chapter 5

     Chekov wasn't a _bad_ first officer, but he was radically different from Spock. After the initial shock of the transfers, Jim worked it over in his mind for a while and figured it wouldn't be too bad, really. Or, he figured if he told himself that enough, he'd start believing it. And after five months, he tried to keep saying that it might still get better, although he believed it less than he had before.

     After missions like the last one, where things hadn't gone as well as he generally hoped they would, he really felt the difference. He lay alone in his room, staring at the corner where the wall met the ceiling.

     Ten people died, and Jim had been in charge of keeping them safe. He had led them into a trap. They had trusted him. If Spock had been there he would've stopped Jim, reminded him of the all the logical reasons why it was a bad idea. But Spock was gone.

     He rolled over and groaned in frustration.

     Jim had been relying on Spock so much. Without him Jim was just… not a good captain. Spock had kept him in line, kept everyone from seeing through the facade that Jim put on. Jim felt like shit when Spock wasn't there. He hated being dependent on others, but it was worst when the person he needed wasn't there. When they probably didn't even _want_ to be there.

     His padd flashed on the table. He should get up and check it. He sat there.

     It could be something important.

     …

     He didn't seem to be getting up.

     Huh.

     After another minute he hauled himself over and sort of rolled off the bed. Now he was sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed behind him.

     It was ridiculous, standing up shouldn't be a difficult task for a goddamn starship captain…

     His padd flashed again and he resigned himself to scooting over to the table and reading the message while still on the floor. It was Bones.

     -hey, wanna eat together?

     -dont ignore me, i know you havent eaten yet. dont make me come up to your room…

     Jim sighed. He didn't really feel hungry, but he figured he should appease Bones.

     -ur worse than my mom, bones. ill b there in a few

     Standing up was still a hassle, but the threat of a visit from Bones got him up. Not that he cared if Bones visited him, but his quarters were a bit messier than they ought to be.

     Dinner was fine. At first when he sat down he thought Bones would lecture him the whole time about remembering to eat, but then Scotty plopped down next to them, with Keenser following, and the conversation became much more agreeable. Jim still didn’t really want to be there, but he could act reasonably happy around his friends.

     Scotty rambled for a while about a few ideas he'd had for the warp drives, until he tried to talk after a particularly large bite and started choking a little. Bones almost went full doctor mode on him, but Scotty managed to get his breathing under control on his own.

     Bones hovered half out of his seat, still worried that he'd have to save Scotty from his noodles.

     “I’m fine, Doc, sit down!” Scotty said, reaching for his water.

     “I don’t know, I think you look like you could use a good hypo or two, Scotty,” Jim teased him. Scotty fake-glared at him.

     “Hey, hey, don't patronize me, you wouldn’t last a week here without me!” Bones said.

     “Aww, did I hurt your feelings?” Jim laughed.

     “As if I’m the emotionally sensitive one in this friendship…” Bones grumbled.

     “Hey! I resent that statement!” Jim said.

     “Don’t even try and deny it!” Bones replied. Jim looked to Scotty for help.

     “I cannae help ya on this one,” Scotty said, putting his hands up in mock-surrender. Jim gasped, feigning offense. “Yer the one who got all mopey after Spock an them left…”

     Alright, they _had_ been joking, but that was a low blow.

     “I did no such thing.”

     Bones raised an eyebrow at him and Scotty wobbled his head condescendingly. Keenser scoffed at him.

     “Even you??” Jim gaped at Keenser, who was suddenly very interested in the ceiling. “Why are you all so convinced that I miss… them?” He’d almost said Spock. That would’ve been bad. He didn't need any more unnecessary inquiries into his emotional attachments.

     Keenser pointed to the food that Jim had been pushing around his plate but not really eating much of.

     “You also haven't been socializing, or exercising as much as you did before,” Bones said.

     “Ye’ve been less interested when we go on away missions, an’ ya look sad whenever Chekov’s not as certain as Spock woulda been in his decisions,” Scotty added.

     “Alright, alright, enough. So, I’m not used to the changes yet. Is that a crime?” Jim said, pushing his food around even more.

     “Nope, but if it’s really bothering you, you shouldn’t ignore it.” Bones said. Jim opened his mouth to reply, but Bones pointed a finger and cut him off, “And I'm saying that as your friend, not your doctor. But I can say it as your doctor, too, if you need me to.”

     “I’m fine. Really. I just get worn out more now that Spock and Uhura aren't on the bridge, I guess.” That was a pretty good excuse. “I’m gonna go back to my room, now.” He got up before they could protest.

     They read him well. He didn't even realized he’d been acting that differently. Or, he hadn't realized he was being so obvious about it.

     When he got back to his quarters, he had a message from Bones on his padd.

     -you know i miss them too, right?

     Jim smiled sadly, putting down his padd.

     Sure, they all missed each other, probably. They had been a great crew. Problem was, Jim was realizing he missed Spock more than anyone else, and Spock probably wasn't missing anyone at all.


	6. Chapter 6

     Spock sat in his quarters, with his hands poised hovering in indecision over the keys of his computer. He was acutely aware of how illogical his compulsion to read the Enterprise logs was, however he found it was becoming increasingly challenging to repress such impulses once he had thought of them.

     It was not a feat that he had generally found difficult in other situations.

     He sighed (very minutely) and keyed in the commands to pull up the most recent captain’s logs.

     Jim’s writing was not the most organized, and more of his speech patterns slipped into his reports than was technically advised. However, Spock found that, while it would have been irritatingly unprofessional in anyone else’s reports, he was not bothered by it anymore in Jim’s. This, he realized, was similar to his reaction to Jim’s mannerisms in general.

     The Enterprise had made first contact on a tropical planet a few days ago. Spock skimmed the first section, which was more of a summary, before clicking to the full report. His investment in what ultimately did not affect him at all was… troubling.

     Jim and Chekov had been the senior officers on the landing party. If Spock were human, he would have thought it was funny that Chekov would be considered a “senior” anything.

     As he read through Jim’s account, he confirmed his suspicion; that doing so eased the odd distress he found himself experiencing most of the time. Often, when on duty, he found himself uncomfortable making decisions without external input, as he had become accustomed to hearing Jim’s input on most issues. Apparently he had come to expect such interjections, and without them he was less confident in his own command.

     However, to feel uneasy even when off duty, was not as easily explained.

     He was interrupted when his door chimed. He looked at it with an eyebrow raised.

     “I do not get visitors…” Spock murmured. The door offered no answer. “Enter.” he said, closing his computer.

     Uhura came in, followed by Sulu.

     “Hey, Spock, how’s it going?” Uhura greeted him, as Sulu smiled and nodded in greeting. He was holding something, although it was concealed enough that Spock could not guess at what it was.

     “Greetings, Uhura, Sulu. Is everything alright?”

     “Oh, yeah, everything’s fine, don’t worry.” Uhura said. Vulcans did not worry, but Spock did not feel the need to correct her.

     “I see.” Spock did not really “see”, as he was still unsure of the reason for their visit. “Would you like to sit down?” he offered.

     “Nah, we can’t stay for long, I have to be on the bridge in a little bit.” Uhura explained, waving him off.

     “We got you something,” Sulu said, raising the object in his hand. “It was Uhura’s idea.”

     “Sulu did all the work, though,” she added.

     Sulu handed a box over to Spock.

     “I think I got it right…” he mumbled, running a hand through his hair.

     Inside the box Spock found what appeared to be tea leaves. He raised an eyebrow.

     “The replicators are perfectly capable of making tea…”

     “It’s Vulcan tea! Or, I hope it is. That’s what it’s supposed to be.” Sulu said. Spock examined the contents more closely. He could not tell how it tasted, but the scent and appearance was indeed very similar to that of Vulcan tea.

     “Where did you get this?” Spock asked. Vulcan tea was exceedingly difficult to find, as the plant did not do well in shipment, and it was difficult to grow on other planets.

     “There’s a guy I know back at Yorktown, I get my seeds and stuff from him, he was able to find a plant for me. I picked it up last time we were there.” Sulu said. “It was Uhura’s idea, though. She said you might like to have some, since stuff from your home can keep you from being lonely and all.”

     “I am not lonely,” Spock said. Had he been acting so differently around the crew?

     “You just seem isolated, is all.” Uhura said, “I’m sure you’re doing fine, but it was still a sudden change. Going from being around Jim Kirk all the time, to this. Don’t even try and argue that you don’t think so.” Spock could not deny that, certainly.

     “Thank you for the tea, however I do believe your concern for my wellbeing to be unnecessary.” Spock said.

     “Either way, let me know, when you try it, if it is actually the right stuff or not.” Sulu said, moving to leave. “I have the plant, I grew it myself, so if you want more…”

     “I will let you know once I have tried it, Mr. Sulu.” Spock assured him. Uhura pulled him into a hug on her way out.

     “You could message him, you know,” she whispered.

     “Message who?”

     “You’re more obvious than you think you are. Talk to Jim, he’ll want to talk to you, too.” She said with a grin, before she spun around and left Spock alone in his room again.

     He frowned to himself. The idea that she could read his emotions so well was troubling, but he would focus on that later.

     He leaned back in his chair, rubbing his shoulder as he thought. Messaging Jim could possibly be beneficial, since reading Jim’s logs seemed to help. However, Spock did not know what he would say, since he had no logical reason to communicate with the captain, and he was not accustomed to making “small talk”. And if Jim really wanted to talk with Spock, he would’ve messaged first already. Since he had not, Spock could assume that Jim was doing fine without him, and had no great desire to communicate with him.

     That thought was more distressing than Spock expected. It scared him.

     He meditated, and tried very hard to not think about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took longer bc i was at otakon last weekend! it was great and now im really tired, but i did get this chapter done.


	7. Chapter 7

     Jim didn't normally spend his shore leave trying to avoid running into anyone from his ship. The problem was, he didn't want to be gregarious or flirty, didn't feel like it, and he didn’t want anyone to notice him acting different. Word might get around that something’s wrong with him. And if Bones found him zoned out alone in some bar, he'd start to psychoanalyze him.

     Jim spotted a few of his ensigns enter across the room, and quickly paid for his drinks and slipped out the back door of the seedy bar he'd been in. He knew that really there was no reason to be so paranoid; they wouldn't think much of him being there, if they noticed him, and they weren't going to start talking about him… but he couldn't shake the thought.

_If Spock were here, he’d tell me how illogical it was to even worry about that…._

     Jim turned left out of the alleyway and headed away from the downtown part of the city, until he came to some docks, mostly empty so late at night. He leaned on a post by the edge of the sidewalk, looking down into the water in front of his feet. It was inky black, even in the faint light from the stars and from the neon lights in the city behind him.

     He’d thought he could go out and drink, flirt, and maybe hook up with someone, like he usually did on shore leave, when there’s a city with a good nightlife. He’d thought maybe it’d help him feel better, since lately all his energy had been going into trying to act normal, even though he felt so tired.

     There had been a few willing participants at the bar, but Jim just… didn't feel into it. He’d ended up alone at a torn up booth, nursing his mediocre liquor, until he’d run away from his own crew.

_It’s been like this for… how long? …ever since Spock got promoted? Well, and the rest of them. Uhura and Sulu. They all got promoted at the same time._

     His brow furrowed as he stared out at the horizon, barely visible in the distance.

 _When did I start actually missing Spock more than the rest of them? Now it’s just a problem that_ Spock’s _gone? Why can’t I just focus on my_ job _?? …Pathetic._

     He traced the nicks and chips in the concrete post with his fingers.

     “So, what, Spock got transferred and I can't even function as a captain anymore??” He muttered to himself, digging his fingertips into the rough surface.

_As if I'm functioning at all…_

     He chuckled dryly, more from self-pity than humor.

 

 

     The next night, he didn’t bother trying to hit the bars. He beamed back up to the Enterprise and holed up in his quarters, determined to stay there for the rest of the week-long shore leave, and not get anyone else’s mood down.

_Or let them see how bad he’d gotten._

     At first, he tried to get some work done; he finished a report and was going through some other, less interesting paperwork, but he kept zoning out. He was pretty sure he actually dozed off a bit one time. After a few hours or so of not really getting much done, he gave up for the night, and unearthed some bottles of whiskey that he’d been saving for something special. The night wasn't special, but he needed something.

     He poured a few shots worth into a glass, swallowed it down before sitting down and pouring some more.

     He stared at his computer, at the table, at the wall across from him.

_Can’t get any work done… can’t focus on the bridge… can't carry on conversations for very long without feeling so worn out… Is it really just ‘cuz I miss Spock?… What do I, have a crush on him or something? I gotta get it together!_

     He took another swig from the bottle, at some point having abandoned the glass.

_Should get some food, or water. Shouldn't drink on an empty stomach._

_Replicator’s… so far away though…_

     The alcohol burned good, and the lights swam some but if he just sat still it wasn’t too bad. The more he drank, the less he had to think about Spock being gone, missing his help on the bridge or on missions, all the times Spock had saved Jim’s ass when he was being an idiot…

_Of all the people to get weirdly attached to, I had to pick the one who’s gone, and who wouldn't care about me even if he was here…_

     He was crying, tears slipping down his face, but he wasn't really aware enough to realize it. He was slumped down in his seat, leaning heavily on the arm and cradling the second, mostly-gone bottle in his lap, until he either fell asleep or passed out, and it slipped from his hand and onto the floor.

 

     He woke up in medbay. It was very bright, even with his eyes closed, and he had a major headache.

     He groaned in protest. Medbay was possibly the worst place to be hungover.

     “Oh, don’t even start, kid.” Bones said from somewhere to Jim’s left. “I’ve seen you get into some shit before, but to fuck yourself up that badly, in your own room? What gives?”

     Jim grumbled a bit and shifted in the bed before managing to get out,

     “…’m fine.”

     “Oh, suuuure you are, and I’m dating Scotty. Cut the crap!”

     “I am fine!” Jim said, with a little more force so he seemed better. “Really, I am.” His voice sounded strained, even to himself. He flashed a grin at Bones, because people tended to fall for that.

     Bones’ eyebrows went even deeper, and he dropped his hands from what he’d been doing on his padd.

     “When Scotty found you, you were barely even _breathing_! I know you're stupid, but if, after all this, you die from drinking too much…!”

     Jim hadn’t realized he’d drank _that_ much… he huffed out a quiet laugh.

     “Y’know, most people would at least say, like, ‘Oh shit, I didn't think it was that bad, I didn't mean to,’ or something…” Bones said.

     Jim shrugged. He knew he ought to feel… something, but really, it didn't seem to matter much.

     Bones made a few angry, disbelieving noises, and grabbed Jim’s shoulder.

     “Now, what the hell-” he turned his head away and breathed out sharply through his nose, “Listen. Whatever’s wrong with you- and something’s definitely been off, I could tell- I don't care if you don’t tell me, but once you start fucking up your own safety, it becomes my problem. You don't wanna say anything, that’s fine, you don't have to: I’ll let you try to work stuff out yourself, if that’s what you’d prefer. But, if I can tell that you’re not able to do that, then I gotta get involved. Got it?”

     Jim’s hands were shaking slightly, under the sheet. He didn’t know how to fix himself, he’d been trying.

_If Spock came back I’d probably be alright again, but he’s not. I can’t get him back._

     “Yeah, alright, Bones. Whatever you say.” He forced a grin again, but it probably looked more like a grimace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im moving back to college tomorrow, so ill be busier... im not sure why i wrote this today, i was supposed to spend all my time packing


	8. Chapter 8

     Warm, humid air surrounded Spock, and while it could not be said to feel like the air on Vulcan, it was more familiar than that of a starship. For the first time in quite a while, he felt relaxed.

     Spock did not normally choose to partake in leisure activities while on leave, but his continued stress had prompted him to change his routine. The planet, Pola 3, was a neutral ground between two feuding races, and was growing to be quite the trading post.

     Spock had noted that the Enterprise was due to arrive in 1.7 days’ time. Passing silently between the towering flora, he debated wether he should initiate contact or not. He would be departing the day after the Enterprise’s arrival, so to attempt to arrange an unnecessary meeting would most likely lead nowhere. That was ignoring the possibility that Jim would have no desire to meet with him.

     Spock stopped under the canopy of a large, flowering plant, tree like in overall shape but lacking a central trunk. His hands were tightly clasped behind his back.

     Vulcans do not become emotionally attached to others. Spock, however, had done just that.

_And I thought enlisting in Starfleet would be the last time I would rebel against Vulcan expectations._

     He missed Jim. To what depth he had become attached, he did not know, and did not endeavor to discover. It could only cause him more distress to know.

     A plant behind Spock screeched suddenly, breaking the quiet and startling Spock. He flinched visibly, then looked around to see if there was anyone who could have witnessed his lapse in control. There was not.

     He paced towards the offending flower.

     Scanning the holocard in front of it, he furrowed his brow when he found the section detailing their auditory abilities.

     “The Je-khtav emits a low hum under normal conditions, and a higher pitched tone when touched on the underside of it’s petals.”

     He looked around again. There was no other listed reason for the plant to react as such, yet Spock had seen no one in the room since he entered.

_Peculiar._

     He continued to examine it for 7.59 minutes, before moving on to the rest of the room. He was not able to shake the feeling that someone else was in the room, however, constantly peering around various kinds of shrubbery. He was certain he was hearing something, but he could find nothing that was a plausible source of noise.

     After this uncharacteristic apprehension went on for 34 minutes, Spock decided that he would not be able to maintain sufficient focus on the greenhouse’s inhabitants to warrant staying any longer. He headed out into the city, not going anywhere particular.

     As he wove through the people on the streets, he contemplated why he would be feeling so strange and jumpy.

     He had been increasingly anxious ever since the transfer, but it had never manifested itself in such a way before, and nothing had changed in the past few days that could have affected it.

     The cool air blew past him, naturally strong on the planet’s evenings and amplified in the city. If he had been planning on staying outside for an extended time period, he would have worn another layer.

     He walked a few more blocks, then stopped at a corner.

     When he left the greenhouse, he had assumed that the feeling of someone watching him would cease affecting him.

     It had not.

     There was no noise that he was hearing, nothing specific at all this time that would clue him into being followed. It was entirely illogical.

     He scanned the area around him, finding nothing out of the ordinary. A few stores, lots of normal looking creatures passing by him. No one and nothing suspicious.

     He was fine. There wasn’t even a hint of anything being wrong, logically.

     And yet…

     He huffed a very small breath out, and turned to continue heading back to the ship. Whatever odd mood had overcome him, he was certainly still capable of ignoring it. He would contemplate possible causes once he was back in his room.

 

     He made it three blocks, before being shoved into an alley and knocked unconscious before he could react.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry its been a while school is Kicking My Ass! or i just sleep too much


	9. Chapter 9

     “SPOCK!”

     Jim woke up screaming, breath coming short as he bolted upright in his bed.

     Nightmares weren’t unusual for him, but this one had been so… vivid. Spock was being tortured. Jim didn’t know what for, but the urge to find him, save him… his pulse was racing, he thought he might vomit.

     “Ugh, what the fuck…”

     He got up and went to his bathroom, to wash some of the sweat off his face.

_Deep breaths. Spock’s fine, everything’s fine, calm down!_

     He stared at himself in the mirror, leaning heavily on the countertop.

 _But I don't actually_ know _that Spock’s alright…_

     Five minutes passed. Then ten, then twenty.

     His adrenaline was still pumping, blood rushing past his ears as he gripped the edge of the sink with white knuckles.

 _This is ridiculous. I’ve had enough bad dreams to know how to deal with one, even if it_ was _really realistic…_

     He shuddered; he could imagine the scene so clearly, _feel_ each strike against Spock’s frame. Hear Spock’s cries for help, or mercy, or just of pain.

 

     After a bit longer he wandered back into his bedroom, where he sat perched on the edge of his bed, waiting the few hours until morning when they would dock at Pola 3.

     He felt worse in the morning. They were in orbit, and most of the crew was getting ready to beam down. Jim couldn’t focus on anything, he still had the scenario from his dream running through his head.

     It was like he was hallucinating, which was new.

_Didn't think I’d gone this crazy yet._

     “Ready to head out, Jim?” Bones asked from beside him. Jim managed a tight smile.

     “Oh, yeah, is it time already?” Jim had been sitting in the captain’s chair for too long, he’d lost track of time. Bones grunted in response, and whacked Jim lightly on the back of his head.

     “Don’t keep Scotty waiting too long, now.”

     Jim forced a small laugh and stood up to leave, heading for the transporter room. Chekov was there waiting (apparently Scotty had gotten too impatient and beamed down already. There were some people he wanted to meet up with on the planet, other engineers who he wanted to discuss ideas with). A few science officers were ready to beam down as well, so Jim stepped onto the platform with them as Chekov punched in the commands.

     “Ready, Keptin,” he chirped.

     “Energize”

     As they materialized in the city, Jim’s head throbbed and a sharp pain in his side had him doubled over almost immediately.

     “Fuck!!” he gasped, stumbling towards the wall nearby.

_Jim?_

_What the-?_

     “Captain, are you alright?” one of the crew members asked, reaching to help him. He waved them off.

_Jim!_

     That was Spock’s voice. In Jim’s Head.

_Spock? Hey, what the hell is going on?_

_I have been kidnapped, I need-_

_Wait that was real? I thought it was just a nightmare… Am I hallucinating this?_

_I am unsure of exactly why our minds are connected in such a way right now, however as similar links are normal in Vulcans I would suggest you focus less on that for now, and more on helping me-_

_Right, yeah, cool, alright. You wouldn't happen to know where you are, would you?_

_Unfortunately I do not, Captain._

_Just call me Jim, Spock. You are literally in my head, after all._

_I do not see how that would-_

     Jim clenched his teeth at another burst of pain, blossoming across his back this time. He felt Spock react, too. It seemed like Jim was feeling everything that happened to Spock.

_You okay, Spock?_

_I… am not-in optimal condition. Jim, please…_

_It’s alright, I’ll find you. Just hang tight for me._

_I am-agh- not hanging… anywhere, Jim…_ Amusement tinged the thought, from Spock's end. 

     Jim smiled a bit, pushed away from the wall and ran out of the building.

     “Ah, shit…”

_Alright, where would a kidnapper take a Starfleet Captain to torture them?_

_Jim-_

_Oh, sorry, I’m just thinking out loud. Or, I'm not actually, but I mean… I’m not trying to talk to you. Just ignore me._

     Jim looked up and down the street he was on, realizing how stupidly impossible this was going to be. He paced to the end of the block, scanning the pedestrians and store-fronts on the corner. The dull ache in his head and torso was easier to ignore now that he had something to do.

     He turned right, and ran to the end of that block.

     Then he turned again, left this time, and ran a few blocks.

     He didn't even know what he was looking for.

     He stopped, panting slightly, and leaned on a bench along the road for a minute.

_Spock?_

_…Yes, Jim?_

_This link thing… would it be stronger the closer we are?_

_Most likely, yes._

_So if I just, run around a bit, could you tell me when I’m getting closer to you?_

_Theoretically, yes, but-_

_Do you have any better ideas?_

_…No, I do not._

_Alright then. Tell me when I’m getting hotter._ He started running again, going for a slightly more methodical approach.

_I do not understand-ghh- what your temperature, or physical appearance, would… have to do with this situation,_

_You’re ridiculous, Spock. Just lemme know when I'm getting closer._

_Affirmative._

     Jim grinned as he ran. It was good to hear Spock’s voice again, to be working together on whatever messed up situation they found themselves in…

_God I’m a sap._

_Jim?_

_Never mind, it’s nothing!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hm. hmmmm im glad yall seem to like this bc idk wtf im doing lol. i think i did better at not forgetting to write for so long this time? so thats something


	10. Chapter 10

     The torture was not as bad as it could have been. Spock, being half-Vulcan, was able to withstand more physical stress than a human could.

     Suddenly hearing Jim’s voice in his head was quite a shock, though, and ripped through his already battered mental shields. Normally, Spock would have ended the connection right away, for moral reasons. However he was in no condition to do so, and Jim did seem surprisingly adept at communicating with him mentally. Generally, humans could not grasp even the basest of such skills, yet Jim was able to not only project coherent thoughts, but control the intensity of his messages. It was fascinating.

     Spock was still on the receiving end of a lot of Jim’s other thoughts that were completely random-Jim was not able to control his mind _that_ well-but the intermittent blows against Spock’s own body prevented him from being able to block such things out.

     Monitoring Jim’s near constant inner monologue, Spock was able to determine when Jim was no longer getting closer.

_Stop now._

_Am I… here?_

_It seems so. Where are you located? Is there anything suspicious around?_

     Spock had not seen anything besides the small room he had been trapped in for the past seven hours, which was simply metal panel walls, bare of any other identifying features. There was one door, behind where Spock was sitting on the floor. There were not any windows, either, besides the small one in the door. This was his only source of light, via the hallway’s overhead lights.

 _Uhh… Kinda looks like a plain ol’ warehouse…_ Jim answered.

     Spock caught glimpses of what Jim was seeing, and while it did not look particularly interesting, it also did not look inhabited at present. That could be promising.

_Are you able to gain access to the property, Jim?_

_I can probably… uhhh hold on,_

_Jim, do not do anything dangerous,_

     Spock felt a flash of pain, one that wasn't his own this time.

_Jim?! What is going on?_

_I just cut my hand on a piece of broken glass, I’m fine!_

     Spock relaxed minutely, as much as he could with his arms bound behind his back. His assailant left the room again, for the time being, although their comings and goings seemed to follow no pattern that Spock could detect.

_Down or up, Spock?_

_… Please clarify your question._

_Which way do you think I should head first, upstairs or down?_ Jim replied. Spock could tell he was laughing. Spock could debate the logistics of having Spock, who did not know where he was located and could not see Jim’s surroundings, make the decision, but he knew he would be rebutted if he did so.

_… Down?_

_Down it is!_

     While he had the opportunity, Spock attempted to reconstruct some of his damaged mental shields. At some point, further discussion and examination of his and Jim’s apparent bond would be necessary, but for the time being Spock was content to let it be. It was oddly comforting, in a way that he never quite thought that being so open to someone would be.

     Perhaps, since he was enduring physically distressing situations, he was more open to such things…

 _It’s that hard to even consider that it’s because we’re friends, or, God forbid, you_ care _about someone, huh?_ Jim said, words tinged with bitterness.

_I was simply debating the nature of this… connection. I do care about you. I missed you, Jim._

     Jim was quiet.

     … _Jim?_

_I think I’m figuring out how this mind thing works, a little-_

_Do not change the subject-_

_Found ya! You don't look so good, from behind at least. How’s this door open?_

_I… I do not know, you are the one who can see it, not me._ Spock craned his neck around to try to see the door, but couldn’t quite turn far enough to see the window.

 _There’s a keypad, um, hang on…_ Jim projected a shaky, but intelligible image of the lock system through their bond.

 _Think we can hack it, together?_ Jim said, mind already whirling ahead to possible solutions.

_If you have your padd, we should be able to,_

     Jim whipped it out and hooked it up to the port.

     Spock barely had to think things at all before Jim was responding to him, their thought processes bounced off of each other so smoothly.

 _And we thought we worked well together_ before _all this!_ Jim chuckled as he plugged in the code Spock was reciting for him.

_Indeed…_

     The door was open in less than three minutes, and Jim rushed into the room.

     “Spock!”

_Someone might hear, if you are too loud…_

     Jim practically flung himself onto Spock, and relief flooded into Spock’s mind. They tipped over, Spock unable to balance as Jim clung to his side.

     “I missed you, too.” Jim whispered. 

     Spock realized he was smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh happy halloween, yall


	11. Chapter 11

_Jim, please untie my hands._ Jim shuffled back a few feet, and set to working on the knots at Spock’s wrists. The binding was similar to rope in it’s flexibility, but strong and cold as metal. Spock flinched a few times as Jim struggled with it, his hands flitting around Spock’s.

_Sorry, sorry. Does it hurt?_

_No, Vulcan hands are simply more sensitive than yours, and my mental shields are not in good condition at present._

_Oh… because of the being kidnapped and all?_ Jim asked as he managed to pull the rope free.

_Mostly, yes, as well as because of our sudden mental link. The only reason it had such an effect, though, was because I was already in a weakened state, and was not expecting it. I do not wish for you to think that you have in any way harmed me._

_Okay, alright, so… what is it? This… thing._ Jim got the sense that Spock wasn’t too keen on discussing it, but it was rather hard to ignore. Spock rubbed his wrists absently as he considered his reply.

_Bonds such as this are… common, in Vulcans, however they rarely occur naturally, without being formed purposefully._ Spock replied slowly.

_Ya know, I’m getting the sense that you’re being kinda vague about this,_

_I do not wish to elaborate more without consulting my father, as I am not sure of all the specifics, rare as this situation is._

_Hm, well, I guess tha-_

     Jim broke off as a clatter sounded from down the hall.

_The stairs. They're coming back. Do you have a phaser?_ Spock asked hurriedly, rising from the floor.

_You think I planned that well?? Cuz I didn’t!_

_Brilliant, Jim. I am still in no condition to exert myself._

_I have my padd… can we lock ourselves in here, lock those guys out? I can comm the ship…_

     Spock stepped half out the door to the control panel and entered the commands, while Jim nervously watched the stairwell door. Whoever it was heading down the stairs, at least they weren't rushing.

_Done. Get in._

     Spock swept Jim back inside and the door clicked shut behind them. They sat in the corner, next to the door out of view of the window. Jim grabbed his padd to contact the Enterprise.

_Oh, hey, look, you’ve been kidnapped._ Jim said, pointing to the screen. One message from Bones, and two from Uhura, asking if Jim had heard that Spock was missing.

_Ah, well it was nice of them to try to tell you…_

     Suddenly there was a thud on the door, and a muffled string of what was probably alien expletives.Jim and Spock sat huddled in silence, watching the door, waiting. Spock was gripping Jim’s shoulders-a bit too tight, but Jim didn't say anything.

     If there had been a clock in the room, the ticking would've been deafening. Jim was sure Spock could hear his heart thudding in his chest.

_I can always hear your heartbeat, when we are next to each other._

_Oh, yeah, I always forget about that. Crazy hearing…_

     A few more desperate crashes against the door before the hallway fell silent again. Jim sighed and turned his attention to his padd again.

_Jim?_

_Yeah?_ Jim looked up at Spock, huddled in the corner.

_Could I borrow your jacket?_

_Oh, yeah, of course._ Jim shrugged it off his shoulders and passed it to Spock, who pulled it on with only a very slight struggle. Spock’s shoulders were a bit wider than Jim’s, and the cuffs of the sleeves didn't quite reach his wrists. Jim giggled.

_So cute._ Jim said, half accidentally.

     Spock’s ears tinged darker, but he didn't comment on it.

_Have you contacted the Enterprise?_

_I’m trying, hold on…_ Jim punched in the command to hail the ship, but the connection kept cutting in and out. Jim hit the side of the padd in a vain attempt to get it to work.

_Perhaps we could get a small message through to someone who is also planetside?_ Spock suggested.

_Sure, Bones is around somewhere…_ Jim started typing out a message, Spock peering over his shoulder at the screen. Jim could feel the warmth from Spock’s chest on his shoulder, even with the cloth between them.

          -Help me and spock. hes hurt.

_What’s the coordinates for this place, do you know?_

_What gives you reason to believe that I know that? I directed you here via our link._

_Do you remember the street names I said I was on when I was finding you?_

_720th, just past 89th._ Spock replied.

     Jim added to his message:

          -abandoned building on 720th past 89th. polanyans captured him.

_Hope this works,_ Jim muttered as he pressed send. They both watched the connection as the little padd chugged along, trying to get the message through. When it finally worked, Jim sighed in relief, and Spock relaxed ever so slightly against the wall behind him.

_Now we wait for a response… he’d better respond to me!_ Jim said, putting his padd on the ground beside them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, so i apologized before for being sporadic w updating but it was rly a while this time, bc finals Killed Me. but im okay now since its break, so... yay! more updates!   
> also sorry i didnt reply to some of ur comments, i meant to, but then i worried that i was saying the same thing every time i responded to ppl, and then so much time had passed i thought itd b weird if i responded after all... lol


	12. Chapter 12

      “Who the hell thought it was a good idea to bother me now?” Bones grumbled when his padd pinged, setting his drink down to pull it out. He read the message, then reread the message a few more times, just to make sure he’d read it right. He was squinting at the padd in the low light of the bar, mouthing the words to himself as he went.

     “Am I gonna hafta be the damn rescue party?” After a few second of gaping at the screen, he groaned and hauled himself to his feet, and payed for his drink as he left the building.

     He squinted in the daylight as he commed the ship, standing outside the bar.

     “Enterprise.” an ensign’s voice answered.

     “This is Doctor McCoy, listen, I’ve received a message from the captain, requesting rescue for him and Mister Spock from-“ he paused to check the message, ”-720th past 89th street-they're in an abandoned building.”

     “Shall I connect you to First Officer Lee, sir?”

     “Ah, just pass on the message for me, but first can you see if y'all can beam Jim and Spock outta there?”

     “I will connect you to Mr. Scott, and relay your message.”

     “Tell Uhura and Sulu, too, why don't ya?” He added before they could disconnect.

     “Will do, sir. Stand by.” Bones bounced in place, scowling at nothing in particular.

     “Hello, Doctor!” Scotty greeted him, louder than the ensign had been. Bones leaned his head away a bit. “I’ve got that address ya gave us, gimme a minute to find it… Ya said it’s the captain an’ Spock?”

     “Yep, the famous couple themselves,” Bones answered.

     “If either of ‘em ever find out ya call ‘em that… Ah! I’ve found that building yer looking for… but there’s some sorta interference, can’t get a lock on anyone inside…”

     “Damn!” Bones slammed his hand into a nearby lamppost.

     “Sorry, Doc. The building’s easy enough to find, though, only one on the block. I can beam down with a few guards, we can try an’ break in an’ find ‘em?”

     “Fine, and I told the ensign to tell Uhura, too, so she might want to join in the fun as well,” Bones said, starting to pace down the sidewalk.

     “Will do, Doc! Enterprise out.” Scotty said.

     “All the way to the other damn side of the damn city, on a goddamn rescue mission…” Bones grumbled as he started to jog.

 

 

     Jim was anxious. Spock could have picked it up even without the link, with how much Jim was glancing around and fidgeting with his hands. If Spock could explain the situation with the bond-but he had too little information, didn't want to give details until he knew the full scope of what was happening. And he did not know how to bring up the fact that bonds were generally romantic in nature. His stomach flopped in strange manner, and Spock pressed him lips even tighter together.

     36.207 minutes later, their Polanyan captors returned, with more footsteps this time, to attempt to regain access to the cell. Jim was crouched and staring at the door, his entire frame taught. Spock reached forward and placed his hand on Jim’s shoulder, in what he hoped was a reassuring way. Jim looked back at him.

_We will talk, after we get out of this place._

     If _we get out of here, you mean. I don't think our odds are so good here,_

_We have survived worse._

     Jim made an odd face at Spock, seemingly close to sticking his tongue out, although not exactly. The door creaked and slid in a few inches, and the noises from outside the door grew louder. Jim’s face paled even further.

_Besides,_ Spock continued, _I am feeling Much better now._

     Jim almost laughed at that, although he held it in because they were technically still hiding.

_You’re right, of course, Spock. I will hold you to that talk, you know._ Jim said, as the door slid almost halfway open and one of the guards’ torso came into view.

_I am sure of it._

     The figure stumbled all the way into the room, and Jim launched himself at it, knocking them to the floor before Spock moved to try to keep the others out. He could, through the bond, be sure that Jim was doing alright even with his back turned.

     The Polanyans had phasers of a sort, but needed to be in the doorway to be able to aim into the room, which took away most of their advantage. Spock ducked along the wall and lashed out at the nearer of the two attackers. His fist connected with a head, and Jim rushed to hold them down as Spock pried the weapon from their grip. Claws scraped down Spock’s arm as he pulled it away. The barrel was rather long and not meant for human or Vulcan hands to use, so Spock opted to use it as a bat and hope it was durable. Jim ducked as Spock swung at the guard behind him, and jumped up immediately after to throw his own punches.

     Their link made the fighting easier, helped them move in synchrony with each other. Still, Spock worried, it would not do to grow too familiar with the situation, useful as it may be.

     The last of the three retreated into the hallway, with Jim following, half-clinging onto them. The guard was trying to hit Jim in the head, but Jim was directly on their back, and whooping louder than was necessary. Spock rushed to follow them, when he heard more footsteps in the stairwell.

_Reinforcements??_ Jim burst in alarm.

_Perhaps,_ Spock responded, moving between the two still grappling, aiming the phaser-thing at the doors at the end of the hall.

     The footsteps kept getting louder.

     Behind him, Jim finally slammed the guard’s head into the wall, resting only a beat before picking up another abandoned weapon and crouching in the doorway.

     There were more footsteps than before.

_Ten people?_ Spock mused.

_At least._

     Spock focused on the door handle, waiting.

     He could almost hear the muffled voices from the other side, though he knew Jim couldn’t.

_Are they planning?_ Jim asked.

_I can’t make it out… although… wait._ Spock hesitated, creeping a few steps closer. _One does sound distinctly Scottish, Jim._

     “Scotty?!?” Jim yelled, lowering his phaser. The voices from the stairwell got louder, before the door burst open and the hall was filled with yelling.

     “WE FOUND ‘EM!”

     “DON’T SHOOT!”

     “SCOTTY! BONES!!”

     “ARE YOU ALRIGHT??”

     “WHAT HAPPENED?”

     “OH THANK GOD”

     “WERE THERE ANY MORE GUARDS?”

     “SPOCK WHERE’S YOUR SHIRT?”

     Spock didn’t know where his shirt had ended up. There was quite a lot of yelling to focus on, he struggled to answer.

_Its fine, I’ll talk for now._ Jim said, placing a hand on Spock’s shoulder. Spock found it more reassuring than he would have anticipated.

     “Not sure about the shirt, Sulu. We’re okay, though, nothing Bones can’t fix, right?”

     “Why you- I had to organize a damn search and rescue mission-“ McCoy spluttered as he scanned Jim for injuries.

     Jim’s hand remained on Spock until they had to separate in the medical center.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fhgjdfhgj alright so ive apologized before for taking a while to update and yall have said its not a problem but it was Really A Lot Longer this time so i still feel the need to apologize...   
> in my defense im busy and also started drawing art for this scene instead of writing it haha... (im not finished coloring it yet ill show u when im done!)  
> anyway sorry im late lol, hope u like it, i promise i havent given up or anything!
> 
> also- sidenote- ive realized i meant to put in the reference to the title like, 5 chapters ago but completely forgot djskhfhgdjkgf so ill shoehorn it into the next chapter or so


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